1
00:00:06,495 --> 00:00:09,012
Huh? What do you think?

2
00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:11,460
It's tomorrow night.

3
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:33,666
♪ Tell me why I
love you like I do

4
00:00:33,804 --> 00:00:36,150
♪ Tell me who can stop my heart

5
00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:37,494
♪ As much as you

6
00:00:37,632 --> 00:00:39,459
♪ Let's take each other's hand

7
00:00:39,597 --> 00:00:42,252
♪ As we jump
into the final frontier

8
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:45,976
♪ I'm mad about you, baby

9
00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:47,872
♪ Yeah ♪

10
00:00:53,631 --> 00:00:56,493
Okay, Paulie, here
is the big question.

11
00:00:56,631 --> 00:00:58,734
If you could have any
sandwich named after you,

12
00:00:58,872 --> 00:00:59,976
what sandwich would it be?

13
00:01:01,251 --> 00:01:02,251
Tongue.

14
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:04,803
Really? Why?

15
00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:05,941
Let people wonder.

16
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:11,009
Paulie, come on.

17
00:01:11,148 --> 00:01:13,089
I'm serious. Riff told me that
when the new menus come out

18
00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:15,078
he's gonna name a
sandwich after me.

19
00:01:15,217 --> 00:01:18,148
He says that my name would
be perfect for a sandwich.

20
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,326
Well, you're very blessed.

21
00:01:20,217 --> 00:01:21,561
Hi.

22
00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:23,699
Hi. You know, we're
gonna have to wait to order.

23
00:01:23,837 --> 00:01:25,354
Uh, I was hoping to
meet my wife here.

24
00:01:25,768 --> 00:01:26,940
Okay. Um...

25
00:01:27,077 --> 00:01:28,077
How about her?

26
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:32,354
She just broke up
with her boyfriend.

27
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,216
You know, maybe I wasn't clear.

28
00:01:34,354 --> 00:01:37,663
My wife is gonna walk in
through that door any minute.

29
00:01:37,801 --> 00:01:39,594
Oh. Okay, well,
that's the spirit.

30
00:01:42,732 --> 00:01:43,974
So what is this, Paulie?

31
00:01:44,112 --> 00:01:45,536
Is this, like, the
nine millionth time

32
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,043
Jamie's been late
because of that job?

33
00:01:47,181 --> 00:01:48,294
I don't know. Whatever it is.

34
00:01:48,318 --> 00:01:49,663
You, my friend, are a prince.

35
00:01:49,801 --> 00:01:50,939
Nah, nah, I'm not a prince.

36
00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:53,076
It's true. Look, right
now you bear the brunt

37
00:01:53,215 --> 00:01:55,111
of the child-rearing
responsibilities.

38
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,122
You're incredibly supportive
of your wife working

39
00:01:57,146 --> 00:01:58,501
even though it takes
her away from you.

40
00:01:58,525 --> 00:01:59,973
You are a prince among men.

41
00:02:00,111 --> 00:02:01,594
Let's not overstate it, okay?

42
00:02:01,731 --> 00:02:04,491
I'm not a prince. I'm just
a guy making a sacrifice,

43
00:02:04,628 --> 00:02:06,191
putting my own dreams
on hold for the moment

44
00:02:06,215 --> 00:02:08,593
so that I can help her
make her dreams come true.

45
00:02:08,731 --> 00:02:09,904
I'm a prince is what I am.

46
00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:11,662
That's what I'm saying.

47
00:02:12,248 --> 00:02:13,248
It's just temporary.

48
00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:14,973
She's going to quit
her job very soon.

49
00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:17,949
Besides, it's not exactly like people
are killing themselves to give me jobs.

50
00:02:17,973 --> 00:02:18,973
No new offers?

51
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:21,110
I got one. Here
you go. To teach.

52
00:02:21,248 --> 00:02:22,593
So? What's wrong with that?

53
00:02:22,731 --> 00:02:25,214
To teach? That's like,
you know, that's code for,

54
00:02:25,352 --> 00:02:27,903
"We've seen your film.
Please don't ever do that again."

55
00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:29,937
No, no. That's not true at all.

56
00:02:30,075 --> 00:02:31,675
Whatever. It's some
college or something.

57
00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:34,799
It's not even in America. What is it,
Scotland or some Godforsaken place?

58
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,110
Paulie...

59
00:02:36,247 --> 00:02:38,385
This letter is from the
University of Edinburgh.

60
00:02:38,523 --> 00:02:39,523
Yeah. So?

61
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:40,799
So? That's, like

62
00:02:40,937 --> 00:02:42,765
that's, like, a
prestigious University.

63
00:02:42,903 --> 00:02:45,040
Yeah, for sheepherding
I'm sure it's terrific.

64
00:02:45,558 --> 00:02:47,040
For film, not so much.

65
00:02:47,178 --> 00:02:49,189
Look, why don't you find
out a little bit about a place,

66
00:02:49,213 --> 00:02:50,573
just a little bit,
before you mock?

67
00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:52,380
What's the difference
how prestigious it is?

68
00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:54,533
What, I'm going to pick up my
family, I'm going to move to Scotland?

69
00:02:54,557 --> 00:02:56,517
Some of the prettiest
country on earth, my friend.

70
00:02:56,557 --> 00:02:59,213
What's that? Greens
and purples, rolling hills,

71
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,350
Loch ness.

72
00:03:00,419 --> 00:03:02,660
Not to mention
the Northern Lights.

73
00:03:02,798 --> 00:03:04,398
All right, since when
do you know things?

74
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:06,798
Yeah, this is Mindy.

75
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:07,936
Hi.

76
00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:12,143
I've heard so much about you.

77
00:03:12,281 --> 00:03:15,212
Oh, oh, Ursula, you know what?

78
00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:17,384
Absolutely. No, I will
leave you two alone.

79
00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:21,315
Um... Um, Mindy?

80
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:23,039
There's been a misunderstanding.

81
00:03:23,177 --> 00:03:24,797
Mindy, I'm Ira. How you doing?

82
00:03:24,935 --> 00:03:26,832
Why don't you come join us?

83
00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:29,004
Thank you. You're
welcome. You know what?

84
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,383
This place is gonna
name a sandwich after me.

85
00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:32,797
Really? Yeah.

86
00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:35,245
You know, I could...
get you a part

87
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,590
in one of my next films.

88
00:03:37,452 --> 00:03:38,796
So, um...

89
00:03:41,452 --> 00:03:42,624
What kind of sandwich, Ira?

90
00:03:43,796 --> 00:03:44,796
Tongue.

91
00:03:51,969 --> 00:03:54,106
Oh, boy, so I'm seeing
you for lunch today?

92
00:03:54,244 --> 00:03:56,141
No, actually, that
was yesterday.

93
00:03:57,348 --> 00:03:58,348
Oh, goodness.

94
00:03:58,417 --> 00:04:00,037
That's okay. I'm sorry.

95
00:04:00,175 --> 00:04:01,462
Hey, listen, you've
been a little distracted.

96
00:04:01,486 --> 00:04:03,968
Yep. But after today, no more.

97
00:04:04,106 --> 00:04:05,279
You really gonna quit?

98
00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:07,623
Yep. Just as soon as I
hand in this last proposal.

99
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:10,279
Okay, that's Joan and Debbie.

100
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,875
I invited them over
to look after Mabel

101
00:04:11,899 --> 00:04:13,619
so you could meet me
for lunch... yesterday.

102
00:04:14,726 --> 00:04:15,840
What am I going to
do with them now?

103
00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,278
You'll go out,
you'll get a haircut.

104
00:04:17,416 --> 00:04:19,185
I don't really need a
haircut. So you'll go bowling.

105
00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:21,070
That's a good idea.
Bowling. That's very good.

106
00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:22,657
Hey, you two.

107
00:04:22,692 --> 00:04:23,702
Hey. Mom told me your news.

108
00:04:23,726 --> 00:04:24,726
What news?

109
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,001
University of Edinburgh.

110
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,140
Oh...

111
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,485
That's not news.

112
00:04:29,554 --> 00:04:31,209
What news?

113
00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:33,357
I told you. This college in Edinburgh,
They want me to teach sheep.

114
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:34,863
That's right.

115
00:04:35,001 --> 00:04:36,598
I told her. She's
been a little distracted.

116
00:04:36,622 --> 00:04:37,967
You should do it.

117
00:04:38,105 --> 00:04:39,218
I should do it? What, I
should move to Scotland?

118
00:04:39,242 --> 00:04:40,863
It's just a big pasture there.

119
00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:43,321
They put up this University,
simply, like, as a wind break.

120
00:04:43,346 --> 00:04:45,829
I'm sure there's more to
Edinburgh than just that it's boring.

121
00:04:45,966 --> 00:04:47,311
Paul, the University
of Edinburgh

122
00:04:47,449 --> 00:04:49,553
has one of the finest
film schools in Europe.

123
00:04:49,691 --> 00:04:51,972
All right, what, are they sending
everybody pamphlets now?

124
00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:54,655
Blue folder, blue
folder, blue folder.

125
00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:56,322
Haven't seen it, haven't
seen it, haven't seen it.

126
00:04:56,346 --> 00:04:58,069
Sweetie, take off your coat.

127
00:04:58,208 --> 00:04:59,759
Oh, that's okay.
You feeling all right?

128
00:04:59,897 --> 00:05:01,377
Yeah, I'm fine. So
take your coat off.

129
00:05:01,483 --> 00:05:02,483
That's okay.

130
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,597
What, do you have a fever? No.

131
00:05:03,621 --> 00:05:05,000
Take off your coat. It's okay.

132
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,424
You have chills? You
feel a chill? I'm fine.

133
00:05:06,448 --> 00:05:07,448
So take off your coat.

134
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:08,517
Take off the coat...

135
00:05:08,931 --> 00:05:09,999
Wha...

136
00:05:10,138 --> 00:05:11,138
You don't like it.

137
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:12,827
No. No, I like it.

138
00:05:12,965 --> 00:05:15,325
I don't even know If I'm
allowed to say this legally, but...

139
00:05:16,827 --> 00:05:18,138
God bless you. Look at you.

140
00:05:19,414 --> 00:05:20,551
Nobody asked you.

141
00:05:20,689 --> 00:05:22,010
That's true. I'm
sorry. That's wrong.

142
00:05:22,034 --> 00:05:24,516
Well, it was supposed
to be a surprise, but...

143
00:05:24,654 --> 00:05:27,482
This afternoon I'm going to pose
for New York Womanmagazine.

144
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:28,620
Get out!

145
00:05:28,723 --> 00:05:29,803
How did that happen?

146
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,447
Well, they're doing a spread

147
00:05:31,585 --> 00:05:34,758
on the 20 most eligible
bachelorettes in New York city.

148
00:05:34,895 --> 00:05:36,171
Bachelorettes.

149
00:05:36,309 --> 00:05:37,585
That is so cool.

150
00:05:37,723 --> 00:05:39,137
Really? Yes.

151
00:05:39,275 --> 00:05:40,275
What, it's not?

152
00:05:40,344 --> 00:05:41,722
Well, see, the thing is,

153
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,550
you're not eligible.

154
00:05:43,688 --> 00:05:47,067
And also, I might add, not
exactly the kind of bachelorette

155
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:48,206
they were talking about.

156
00:05:49,412 --> 00:05:51,412
All right, but... but
wouldn't you say that it's...

157
00:05:51,515 --> 00:05:52,515
It's groovy?

158
00:05:52,584 --> 00:05:54,067
No. No. If I had to pick a word,

159
00:05:54,205 --> 00:05:55,550
I would say disgusting.

160
00:05:56,274 --> 00:05:57,274
Betraying.

161
00:05:57,377 --> 00:05:58,377
Insulting.

162
00:05:58,481 --> 00:05:59,688
And yet, at the same time,

163
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,790
Somehow a little
groovy... I gotta say.

164
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,101
Hey! What happened?

165
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,859
Blue folder. There it is, see?

166
00:06:05,997 --> 00:06:08,388
Listen, I know this is terrible
timing, but I have to go to work.

167
00:06:08,412 --> 00:06:09,446
That's okay.

168
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:10,594
I'm sorry to leave
you here with this.

169
00:06:10,618 --> 00:06:12,101
That's okay. It'll be great.

170
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,456
Listen, you go have a great last
day of work. I'll see you tonight.

171
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,240
Thank you. You're a
prince. I get that a lot.

172
00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:20,031
You know what? You
ladies, why don't you go, too,

173
00:06:20,169 --> 00:06:21,307
'cause Mabel and I...

174
00:06:21,445 --> 00:06:23,005
Eligible. Would you
like to be eligible?

175
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,249
Because that can be arranged.

176
00:06:24,273 --> 00:06:25,824
Would you guys
mind watching Mabel?

177
00:06:25,962 --> 00:06:27,755
Why do you always
have to get so angry?

178
00:06:27,893 --> 00:06:29,411
Maybe because
you fill me with rage!

179
00:06:29,549 --> 00:06:31,830
I'm in the mood for a little
haircut and a little bowling.

180
00:06:33,582 --> 00:06:35,410
So you quit your
job, and then what?

181
00:06:35,548 --> 00:06:37,755
So they wished
me well and I left.

182
00:06:37,893 --> 00:06:38,893
How do you feel?

183
00:06:38,996 --> 00:06:39,996
I feel great.

184
00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:41,375
I feel undistracted.

185
00:06:41,513 --> 00:06:42,686
We can do whatever we want.

186
00:06:42,824 --> 00:06:44,375
Let's go to Scotland.

187
00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:46,144
Hey, don't kid around.
I looked into the place.

188
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:48,444
Apparently that got, like,
quite a film community there.

189
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,662
See that? You're starting
to like the idea, aren't you?

190
00:06:50,686 --> 00:06:52,617
The idea, yeah. The
reality, I'm sure, bleh.

191
00:06:54,823 --> 00:06:55,823
Oh, lordy.

192
00:06:55,926 --> 00:06:57,410
Oh, the fighting lesbians.

193
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:00,547
If I'm not mistaken,

194
00:07:00,685 --> 00:07:02,685
also the name of the Smith
College ice hockey team.

195
00:07:04,134 --> 00:07:05,281
You know what? I'm gonna go pee.

196
00:07:05,305 --> 00:07:06,340
Please pee later.

197
00:07:06,478 --> 00:07:07,478
All right.

198
00:07:07,547 --> 00:07:08,592
I did it because I wanted to.

199
00:07:08,616 --> 00:07:09,616
What about what I want?

200
00:07:09,685 --> 00:07:11,167
Deb, when they do a photo spread

201
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,098
at Irritating Life
Partner Monthly,

202
00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:14,236
you're more than welcome.

203
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,925
Hey, the new menus.

204
00:07:17,925 --> 00:07:18,925
Oh, I'm so excited.

205
00:07:18,994 --> 00:07:20,271
Okay, and now, um,

206
00:07:20,409 --> 00:07:21,809
are you still waiting
for your wife?

207
00:07:23,202 --> 00:07:24,511
No. This is she.

208
00:07:24,649 --> 00:07:25,649
Hey, Ursula.

209
00:07:25,787 --> 00:07:27,063
Oh, all right. You work fast.

210
00:07:30,235 --> 00:07:31,511
Oh, man, I don't believe this.

211
00:07:31,649 --> 00:07:32,684
What's the matter?

212
00:07:32,822 --> 00:07:34,304
Riff did not name a
sandwich after me.

213
00:07:34,442 --> 00:07:36,062
He didn't? Excuse me.

214
00:07:38,132 --> 00:07:39,235
Where are you going?

215
00:07:39,373 --> 00:07:41,213
It wasn't true about the
sandwich, was it, Ira?

216
00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:43,477
You were just using the
sandwich to impress me.

217
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:45,270
Mindy, no.

218
00:07:46,959 --> 00:07:48,545
Boy, oh, boy. You
see, in my day,

219
00:07:48,683 --> 00:07:50,993
It was, like, a
Camaro or big muscles

220
00:07:51,132 --> 00:07:52,590
to impress the gals.
That kind of thing.

221
00:07:52,614 --> 00:07:55,054
I'll tell you this. I'm not taking
it sitting down. Excuse me.

222
00:07:55,131 --> 00:07:56,545
And you know what, sweetie?

223
00:07:56,683 --> 00:07:58,614
If it's okay with you,
I'm gonna go pee now.

224
00:07:58,752 --> 00:07:59,890
Okay.

225
00:08:00,027 --> 00:08:01,614
You see, there is someone

226
00:08:01,752 --> 00:08:04,112
who consults his significant
other before making a decision.

227
00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:11,372
So how's everybody? Good?

228
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:14,303
Hey, Ursula.

229
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,923
Listen, uh, do you know why Riff
did not name a sandwich after me?

230
00:08:18,061 --> 00:08:19,578
Okay, just a
second, I'm stirring.

231
00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:23,337
Okay. Now, what is the question?

232
00:08:23,475 --> 00:08:26,406
Do you know why Riff did
not name a sandwich after me?

233
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,888
Oh. Uh, no.

234
00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:32,315
Okay, do you know when
Riff is coming in today?

235
00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:35,130
What is it?

236
00:08:35,268 --> 00:08:37,405
Do you know what time
Riff is coming in today?

237
00:08:37,888 --> 00:08:39,508
Oh. No.

238
00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:42,130
Oh, terrific. Man doesn't
even have the nerve to face me.

239
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:45,336
Ursula, the menu
is on fire. Ursula.

240
00:08:45,474 --> 00:08:46,474
Okay, what do you want?

241
00:08:46,612 --> 00:08:47,681
The menu is on fire!

242
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,508
Oh. All right.

243
00:08:49,646 --> 00:08:50,921
Oh. There.

244
00:08:52,646 --> 00:08:53,646
Hey.

245
00:08:54,508 --> 00:08:55,628
You got a fire extinguisher?

246
00:08:55,749 --> 00:08:56,749
A what?

247
00:08:56,818 --> 00:08:58,025
Fire extinguisher.

248
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,370
Hey, hey, buddy, you got
a fire extinguisher here?

249
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,783
Yikes!

250
00:09:01,921 --> 00:09:04,059
Listen, I gotta find
a fire extinguisher.

251
00:09:04,198 --> 00:09:05,932
You take these, see if
you can smother the flames.

252
00:09:05,956 --> 00:09:07,680
Oh, okay. Yeah.

253
00:09:07,818 --> 00:09:09,093
Okay. Go away, fire.

254
00:09:09,231 --> 00:09:10,956
Now shoo. Shoo! Shoo!

255
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,093
What are you doing?

256
00:09:12,197 --> 00:09:13,300
I'm smothering the flames.

257
00:09:13,438 --> 00:09:15,507
No, you're not. You're
fanning the flames.

258
00:09:15,645 --> 00:09:17,680
Oh. Yeah. That's right.

259
00:09:18,886 --> 00:09:20,300
Hey, what's this?
What's in here?

260
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,886
Oh, water.

261
00:09:23,024 --> 00:09:24,904
Okay, great. Stand
back. I'll take care of this.

262
00:09:28,058 --> 00:09:29,265
What did you say was in here?

263
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,403
Yeah. Grease.

264
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:32,748
Oh, my God!

265
00:09:32,886 --> 00:09:34,092
We gotta get out of here.

266
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:35,334
We gotta get out of here!

267
00:09:35,472 --> 00:09:37,032
We are talking about
a fundamental issue

268
00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:38,575
of respect and consideration.

269
00:09:38,713 --> 00:09:41,506
What do I have to do to make
you secure in this relationship?

270
00:09:41,644 --> 00:09:42,781
Uh... guys?

271
00:09:42,919 --> 00:09:44,379
I just want you to be
honest about what you are.

272
00:09:44,403 --> 00:09:46,540
Yes. Your property.
Do you smell, like, uh...

273
00:09:46,678 --> 00:09:47,988
That was an expression of love.

274
00:09:48,127 --> 00:09:49,792
No. It was an expression
of territorialism.

275
00:09:49,816 --> 00:09:50,816
Okay. Fire.

276
00:09:50,919 --> 00:09:51,919
What? Fire!

277
00:09:52,023 --> 00:09:53,023
Oh, my God!

278
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,678
Oh, I really had to pee.

279
00:10:25,297 --> 00:10:28,021
Five, ten, let's go, pull it up!

280
00:10:28,952 --> 00:10:30,986
Come on, coming through!

281
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,435
James! There you are!

282
00:10:32,573 --> 00:10:33,573
You're okay.

283
00:10:33,641 --> 00:10:34,676
You're okay.

284
00:10:35,021 --> 00:10:36,297
Oh! Oh!

285
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:37,986
I didn't know what
happened to you.

286
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:40,055
I was so worried. I
came out of the bathroom,

287
00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:41,272
and I didn't know
where you were,

288
00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:42,410
so I started going
back to the table...

289
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,434
You went to get me?

290
00:10:43,503 --> 00:10:46,503
Yeah. This... wall of flame,

291
00:10:46,641 --> 00:10:50,020
Like a big... like an
actual wall made of flame

292
00:10:50,158 --> 00:10:52,193
just came at me, so I
got down on my knees...

293
00:10:52,331 --> 00:10:54,641
Oh, my God. You went to
rescue me. You're a prince.

294
00:10:54,778 --> 00:10:55,818
I'm a prince. Yes, I know.

295
00:10:55,882 --> 00:10:57,778
My knight in shining armor.

296
00:10:59,054 --> 00:11:00,720
I was... I just didn't know
what happened to you.

297
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,296
I'm so glad you got out okay.

298
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:05,158
Yeah. I saw the smoke,
I just ran out of there.

299
00:11:08,675 --> 00:11:09,675
You ran out?

300
00:11:09,813 --> 00:11:10,916
Yeah. I saw the smoke.

301
00:11:11,054 --> 00:11:12,654
Luckily, I... whoo...
I ran out of there.

302
00:11:14,295 --> 00:11:15,847
So you were never in danger.

303
00:11:15,984 --> 00:11:20,088
No. I saw the smoke... all of
us just ran right out of there.

304
00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:22,123
Didn't... didn't forget
anything in there?

305
00:11:22,261 --> 00:11:23,984
No... Jacket or...

306
00:11:24,123 --> 00:11:25,536
Got my jacket. You got your bag?

307
00:11:25,674 --> 00:11:28,467
Hey! How about... Your husband?

308
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,432
Oh, my God!

309
00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:32,984
Your soulmate who's peeing
his little heart out in there,

310
00:11:33,123 --> 00:11:34,570
unaware that there's
a fire going on?

311
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:36,122
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

312
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,639
You knew I was in the bathroom!

313
00:11:37,777 --> 00:11:38,949
Yes, I did. Oh, my God!

314
00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:40,536
You didn't think
to come in and say,

315
00:11:40,674 --> 00:11:43,305
"Hey, there's a fire out here. You
might want to hurry up in there?"

316
00:11:43,329 --> 00:11:44,880
Paul, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.

317
00:11:45,018 --> 00:11:46,477
Oh, get up. If you don't
want to go to the men's room,

318
00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:47,580
send somebody else in there.

319
00:11:47,604 --> 00:11:48,914
Oh, Paul, I'm so sorry.

320
00:11:49,052 --> 00:11:51,673
Oh, get up. Or just
leave a note at the table:

321
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:54,122
"Had to run. Big fire.
Hope you make it out alive."

322
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:56,776
Okay, listen. The important
thing is we're both okay.

323
00:11:56,914 --> 00:11:58,018
No. No.

324
00:11:58,155 --> 00:11:59,315
That was the important thing.

325
00:11:59,431 --> 00:12:02,500
Now the important thing
is that you left me in there

326
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:03,948
to choke to death.

327
00:12:04,879 --> 00:12:05,982
The second I got out here,

328
00:12:06,121 --> 00:12:07,761
the first thing I said
is, "where's Paul?"

329
00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:10,224
Well...

330
00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:11,844
I was in the bathroom.

331
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:14,534
I love you.

332
00:12:14,672 --> 00:12:16,499
I cherish you, and I love you.

333
00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:18,121
I'm sorry I was
so inconsiderate.

334
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:19,499
I'm sorry I was territorial.

335
00:12:19,637 --> 00:12:20,757
I want to be your territory.

336
00:12:20,844 --> 00:12:21,948
You do?

337
00:12:22,086 --> 00:12:23,603
Always. For as
long as both of us

338
00:12:23,741 --> 00:12:25,154
Are lucky enough to be alive.

339
00:12:25,292 --> 00:12:26,430
What are you saying?

340
00:12:26,568 --> 00:12:28,441
What do you think I'm
saying? Will you marry me?

341
00:12:28,465 --> 00:12:30,361
Yes.

342
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:32,050
Oh!

343
00:12:33,465 --> 00:12:34,465
Well, it's good to see

344
00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:36,094
fires bring out the
best in some people.

345
00:12:38,154 --> 00:12:39,223
Ursula, breathe.

346
00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:45,981
Okay, are we gonna be done soon?

347
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,671
Ursula, you're breathing.

348
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,567
Yeah, well, for, like,
a long time, now.

349
00:12:50,429 --> 00:12:52,015
Oh... thank God!

350
00:12:52,153 --> 00:12:54,049
Yeah, well, I didn't
want to interrupt you,

351
00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:55,946
You know, because
you seemed so serious.

352
00:12:56,084 --> 00:12:58,360
No, I... I didn't realize
that you were conscious.

353
00:12:58,498 --> 00:12:59,670
Well, yeah.

354
00:13:00,842 --> 00:13:02,188
So how did I get here?

355
00:13:02,326 --> 00:13:04,428
Well, you passed out from
the smoke in the kitchen.

356
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:05,566
I carried you out.

357
00:13:06,257 --> 00:13:07,428
So you saved my life?

358
00:13:07,566 --> 00:13:09,394
Well... No. Hey.

359
00:13:09,532 --> 00:13:10,601
Ursula...

360
00:13:10,739 --> 00:13:12,980
Okay. 'Cause, I mean,
if you had saved my life,

361
00:13:13,118 --> 00:13:15,945
then I would do anything
you asked to repay you. So...

362
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,739
Really? Yeah.

363
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:18,876
Well, you know,

364
00:13:18,979 --> 00:13:20,463
Actually, come to think of it,

365
00:13:20,601 --> 00:13:22,290
I sort of did save your life.

366
00:13:22,428 --> 00:13:23,428
Technically.

367
00:13:23,876 --> 00:13:25,083
I thought so.

368
00:13:25,807 --> 00:13:26,876
Okay.

369
00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,221
Yeah.

370
00:13:28,359 --> 00:13:29,703
So, then, what can I do

371
00:13:29,841 --> 00:13:31,221
to show you my gratitude?

372
00:13:34,945 --> 00:13:36,910
Well, listen, Ursula...

373
00:13:37,048 --> 00:13:39,910
When Riff's reopens and
the new menus come out,

374
00:13:40,047 --> 00:13:42,358
could you make sure that they
name that sandwich after me?

375
00:13:44,117 --> 00:13:45,151
I promise.

376
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:47,565
Mm.

377
00:13:52,806 --> 00:13:55,186
See? He dragged her out,
and they barely know each other.

378
00:13:55,323 --> 00:13:56,323
All right.

379
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:02,426
Hey.

380
00:14:02,495 --> 00:14:03,530
Hey. How was your shower?

381
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:05,840
Very good. Very good.
Used about 2,000 q-tips

382
00:14:05,977 --> 00:14:07,392
getting that soot
out of my ears.

383
00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:09,392
Like my head was a chimney.

384
00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:11,575
You run around in a burning
building, you get plenty dirty.

385
00:14:11,599 --> 00:14:13,012
Yeah.

386
00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,161
I'm sorry. I've said it over
and over and over. I'm sorry.

387
00:14:15,185 --> 00:14:17,466
That's okay. You did, and
there's no need to say it again.

388
00:14:17,598 --> 00:14:18,874
Okay. Say it one more time.

389
00:14:19,012 --> 00:14:20,356
I'm sorry. There you go.

390
00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,116
I'm sorry, go ahead. Go ahead.

391
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,493
I was actually... you go first.

392
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:25,849
No, you... honey,
please go first.

393
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,529
Okay, all right,
all right, I... I...

394
00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:31,253
Here's... here's what I think.

395
00:14:31,391 --> 00:14:32,391
Um...

396
00:14:32,942 --> 00:14:33,942
It's like this.

397
00:14:35,873 --> 00:14:38,218
You know how the
fire, uh, it sort of...

398
00:14:38,356 --> 00:14:40,435
It made Debbie and Joan
really take stock in their lives?

399
00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:41,459
Yes.

400
00:14:41,528 --> 00:14:42,538
And Ursula and Ira took stock?

401
00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:43,942
Yes.

402
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,631
The fire made me take stock.

403
00:14:46,321 --> 00:14:47,528
Me, too.

404
00:14:47,666 --> 00:14:49,252
Really? Yes.

405
00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:51,090
So you're thinking what
I'm thinking? I hope so.

406
00:14:51,114 --> 00:14:52,528
Life is short. Yes.

407
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:54,504
You know, and... and it
could be over tomorrow.

408
00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:55,631
Yes.

409
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,327
We gotta seize the
day. Carpethat diem.

410
00:14:57,424 --> 00:14:58,528
Yes! Yeah.

411
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:01,010
So you're thinking we
gotta move to Scotland.

412
00:15:01,975 --> 00:15:02,975
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

413
00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:05,010
Oh. That's where I went.

414
00:15:05,148 --> 00:15:06,148
What did you have?

415
00:15:06,217 --> 00:15:07,527
I want to go back to work.

416
00:15:09,389 --> 00:15:11,941
Oh, that's... that's
very different.

417
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:15,699
Sweetie, I... I love working.

418
00:15:15,837 --> 00:15:18,423
I know, but, jeez...
oh, that's... oh, oh...

419
00:15:18,561 --> 00:15:19,681
You want to teach, suddenly?

420
00:15:19,734 --> 00:15:20,734
I...

421
00:15:21,147 --> 00:15:22,733
I do.

422
00:15:22,871 --> 00:15:24,492
A classroom full
of sheep, you said.

423
00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:26,182
They... they have a few sheep,

424
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,743
but they're
scattered, they're all...

425
00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:30,182
They have hills, these
beautiful rolling hills.

426
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,778
They have Northern Lights.
You want to see the pamphlet?

427
00:15:31,802 --> 00:15:32,802
No.

428
00:15:32,871 --> 00:15:33,871
What are we gonna do?

429
00:15:34,526 --> 00:15:35,526
I don't know.

430
00:15:37,595 --> 00:15:38,871
I... I... where you going?

431
00:15:39,009 --> 00:15:40,215
I'm going to work.

432
00:15:40,353 --> 00:15:41,949
Wait a second. I thought
we're talking about this.

433
00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:44,042
They're going to give
my job to somebody else.

434
00:15:44,181 --> 00:15:45,571
Let me get it back,
then we'll talk.

435
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:46,595
What are you doing? No.

436
00:15:46,664 --> 00:15:48,112
I'm blocking your path.

437
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:50,388
Paul, I love that job.

438
00:15:50,526 --> 00:15:52,388
I gotta tell you, I
don't love that job.

439
00:15:52,525 --> 00:15:55,112
What happened to you
support me no matter what?

440
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,363
What happened to the prince?

441
00:15:56,387 --> 00:15:57,787
Prince... whoosh...
gone. Abdicated.

442
00:16:00,112 --> 00:16:01,628
Why?

443
00:16:01,766 --> 00:16:03,870
Because that job changed you.

444
00:16:04,008 --> 00:16:06,283
I was a little bit distracted.

445
00:16:07,145 --> 00:16:08,465
You left me in a
burning building.

446
00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:11,525
Paul, I want my job back.

447
00:16:14,076 --> 00:16:15,318
Okay. You know what?

448
00:16:16,111 --> 00:16:17,111
Take your job.

449
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:18,627
Thank you.

450
00:16:18,765 --> 00:16:19,805
What? Where are you going?

451
00:16:19,903 --> 00:16:20,972
I'm going to Scotland.

452
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:23,845
I'm going to the kitchen now,

453
00:16:23,869 --> 00:16:25,589
but I'm saying, later
I'm going to Scotland.

454
00:16:29,248 --> 00:16:30,248
A what?

455
00:16:30,317 --> 00:16:31,317
A pre-nup.

456
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:32,420
Oh. Oh, I see.

457
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,144
It's nothing to worry about.

458
00:16:34,282 --> 00:16:36,179
It's just a precaution.
In case we get divorced.

459
00:16:36,317 --> 00:16:37,386
We won't get divorced.

460
00:16:37,524 --> 00:16:38,568
Then why do we need a pre-nup?

461
00:16:38,592 --> 00:16:39,592
In case we do.

462
00:16:40,144 --> 00:16:42,006
Hey. What about romance?

463
00:16:42,144 --> 00:16:43,488
What about love?

464
00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:45,557
What about believing
there's a bond between us

465
00:16:45,695 --> 00:16:47,764
that time and
circumstance cannot break?

466
00:16:48,488 --> 00:16:50,075
It's a very fair pre-nup.

467
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:51,868
You know what?

468
00:16:52,006 --> 00:16:54,005
What? This was
not a good fire at all.

469
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:56,833
Was that fire, like, the greatest
thing that ever happened, or what?

470
00:16:58,557 --> 00:16:59,729
You mean the fire at Riff's?

471
00:17:01,419 --> 00:17:02,419
Yeah.

472
00:17:02,936 --> 00:17:03,936
It really was.

473
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:05,832
Come here.

474
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:14,763
Oh...

475
00:17:15,384 --> 00:17:16,384
Yeah.

476
00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:18,556
Yeah.

477
00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:21,108
Tony Curtis had to play
the man and the woman.

478
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,797
I want my job back.

479
00:17:27,935 --> 00:17:29,497
I know I said I quit,
but I've thought about it,

480
00:17:29,521 --> 00:17:30,659
and I want to stay.

481
00:17:30,797 --> 00:17:33,452
Wow. It's up to
Mr. Carville and Ms. Matalin.

482
00:17:33,590 --> 00:17:34,935
Okay. Shall I speak to them?

483
00:17:35,073 --> 00:17:37,279
Well, Mr. Carville's
with the President...

484
00:17:37,417 --> 00:17:38,486
The President of...

485
00:17:39,314 --> 00:17:40,521
Oh, the President President.

486
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:41,659
The President, yes.

487
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,521
Carville.

488
00:17:45,659 --> 00:17:46,738
Mr. Carville, it's
Jamie Buchman calling.

489
00:17:46,762 --> 00:17:47,899
Oh, yeah, hi.

490
00:17:48,037 --> 00:17:49,796
Carville, I need you over here.

491
00:17:49,934 --> 00:17:52,083
Look, Jamie, I'm kind of with
the leader of the free world.

492
00:17:52,107 --> 00:17:53,107
Could I possibly...

493
00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,520
I've done some soul searching,

494
00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:57,554
and I've decided I want my
job back. I know I just quit,

495
00:17:57,692 --> 00:17:58,968
And you're probably thinking,

496
00:17:59,107 --> 00:18:01,117
"What the heck's going on in
that crazy brain of Jamie's?"

497
00:18:01,141 --> 00:18:03,941
But I want my job back, and I'll
do anything I have to do to keep it...

498
00:18:03,968 --> 00:18:06,530
Carville, I mean it. I really
need you over in here right now.

499
00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:08,623
Jamie, you're a fine
employee. Keep your job.

500
00:18:08,761 --> 00:18:10,727
Thank you, sir. That
means so much to me.

501
00:18:10,864 --> 00:18:12,909
Carville, man, that
better be the Pentagon.

502
00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:14,657
Look, I gotta go.

503
00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:16,496
I'll never forget the way You stuck
your neck out for me and you...

504
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,278
Hello?

505
00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:26,312
This is quite a swanky thing.

506
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:27,519
Believe me.

507
00:18:27,657 --> 00:18:28,967
You got caviar.

508
00:18:29,105 --> 00:18:30,495
You got waiters running
around with toothpicks.

509
00:18:30,519 --> 00:18:32,519
I figure if I spend
enough of Joan's money,

510
00:18:32,657 --> 00:18:34,217
there won't be any
reason for a pre-nup.

511
00:18:35,553 --> 00:18:37,277
Got everything all in the works.

512
00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:39,863
Got passports renewed, even
got a new passport for Mabel.

513
00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:41,001
Little passport this big.

514
00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:42,794
Ah! So Jamie's on
board for Scotland.

515
00:18:42,932 --> 00:18:45,483
We gotta, you know, dot
a few Is, cross a few Ts,

516
00:18:45,621 --> 00:18:48,380
And... and... plus, I gotta
get her to stop saying "no."

517
00:18:50,552 --> 00:18:52,932
You remember... you
remember when I told you

518
00:18:53,069 --> 00:18:55,932
to smother the flames, and
instead, you fanned the flames?

519
00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:57,380
Yeah.

520
00:18:57,518 --> 00:18:58,518
No.

521
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,138
What are you doing?

522
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,034
I'm just basking in the glow

523
00:19:05,173 --> 00:19:07,276
of having my job back. You?

524
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,104
I'm thinkin' about
wearin' a kilt.

525
00:19:09,242 --> 00:19:10,345
Ah.

526
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,862
Sure. 'Cause we're
movin' to Scotland.

527
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,104
I'm serious about
this. Okay. All right.

528
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,413
Okay. I really am.

529
00:19:17,103 --> 00:19:18,206
When are we leaving?

530
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:20,517
Uh... I...

531
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,895
Where are we gonna live?

532
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:23,975
Well, we... What are we
gonna do with the apartment?

533
00:19:23,999 --> 00:19:25,279
Where's Mabel
gonna go to school?

534
00:19:26,241 --> 00:19:27,930
You thought about
Murray? Well, you know...

535
00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:29,217
Maybe we'll have
to quarantine him.

536
00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:31,241
Probably gonna have
to quarantine him.

537
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,103
What? I'm sorry,
what? There's a lot of...

538
00:19:34,619 --> 00:19:36,068
I'm still working
out the details.

539
00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:37,630
There's details to be
ironed out. No question.

540
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,457
Okay, good. So go
work out your little details,

541
00:19:39,481 --> 00:19:40,585
and I'll just be at work.

542
00:19:46,171 --> 00:19:49,619
You think you're so tough.

543
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,067
You think you've won.

544
00:19:51,205 --> 00:19:52,561
Let me tell you
something, my little friend.

545
00:19:52,585 --> 00:19:55,515
A war is made out of
many little battles, okay?

546
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:56,825
And here's what we Scotch do.

547
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,894
We fight and then we walk away,

548
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:02,239
so that we may return
to fight another day.

549
00:20:02,377 --> 00:20:03,860
That's what we Scotch do.

550
00:20:04,549 --> 00:20:05,549
Scots.

551
00:20:05,963 --> 00:20:06,963
Whatever.

552
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:09,066
Debbie.

553
00:20:09,204 --> 00:20:10,764
All right, you know
what? Write a check.

554
00:20:10,825 --> 00:20:12,722
What? Write a check.
There's my bank balance.

555
00:20:12,859 --> 00:20:14,859
Wow. Wow!

556
00:20:14,997 --> 00:20:16,480
Big eligible bachelorette.

557
00:20:16,618 --> 00:20:19,893
All right, now, I am signing
my name to this blank check,

558
00:20:20,031 --> 00:20:22,273
And whatever you want right
now from me you can have.

559
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:23,410
Joanie.

560
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,755
Debbie, there isn't anything

561
00:20:24,893 --> 00:20:26,859
I don't want you to have.

562
00:20:26,997 --> 00:20:31,031
So, you're saying that I
could write in any amount.

563
00:20:31,169 --> 00:20:32,169
Mm-hmm.

564
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,341
Deb, I... I... if I may,

565
00:20:33,479 --> 00:20:36,030
I believe this is what's
meant as a gesture.

566
00:20:36,996 --> 00:20:38,548
And a wonderful gesture it is.

567
00:20:38,686 --> 00:20:39,754
I love you.

568
00:20:39,892 --> 00:20:40,961
I love you.

569
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,892
Ah, look at these crazy kids.

570
00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:45,272
You know what?
If I may, everybody,

571
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,789
Let us make a toast...

572
00:20:46,927 --> 00:20:49,927
Can we make a toast to
my beautiful sister, Debbie

573
00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:51,892
And... Joan,

574
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:55,030
her future, soon-to-be wife

575
00:20:55,168 --> 00:20:58,237
and my soon-to-be sister-in-law.

576
00:20:58,375 --> 00:20:59,523
That's all right,
isn't it? Yeah.

577
00:20:59,547 --> 00:21:00,616
Uh...

578
00:21:01,547 --> 00:21:03,340
We just all want to wish you

579
00:21:03,478 --> 00:21:05,202
the very best in life,

580
00:21:05,340 --> 00:21:06,995
or, as we say in Scotland...

581
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,133
Honey.

582
00:21:08,202 --> 00:21:09,409
Just... Good luck to you.

583
00:21:11,408 --> 00:21:13,133
I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

584
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:14,271
I'm so happy.

585
00:21:14,408 --> 00:21:15,443
I'm so happy.

586
00:21:15,581 --> 00:21:16,615
I'm pretty happy.

587
00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:18,029
I'm... I'm all right.

588
00:21:29,339 --> 00:21:30,374
And I, of course,

589
00:21:30,512 --> 00:21:31,694
am gonna have the
egg salad sandwich,

590
00:21:31,718 --> 00:21:33,545
or, as it is now known,

591
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:34,683
The Ira Buchman.

592
00:21:36,476 --> 00:21:38,718
You don't have to have
the egg salad every time

593
00:21:38,856 --> 00:21:40,136
just 'cause it's
named after you.

594
00:21:41,028 --> 00:21:42,235
I don't?

595
00:21:42,373 --> 00:21:44,453
You think Morey Amsterdam
always had the corned beef?

596
00:21:44,580 --> 00:21:45,580
Maybe.

597
00:21:45,683 --> 00:21:47,166
You think Sammy Davis,

598
00:21:47,304 --> 00:21:49,314
every single time he came in here,
he had the ham and swiss on rye?

599
00:21:49,338 --> 00:21:50,924
Why not?

600
00:21:51,062 --> 00:21:53,442
You this Willis Reed, no
matter what kind of mood he's in,

601
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,176
he came in here, he had
the turkey, chopped liver,

602
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,314
domestic mustard,
Russian dressing?

603
00:21:56,338 --> 00:21:57,338
Yeah.

604
00:21:58,786 --> 00:22:00,235
You're living in a dream world.